Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
