Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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