Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
