So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
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I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
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I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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