How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
