nutella sex= disaster
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I am one with the molecules
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
