Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
