Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
