Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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