He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
