hotel room ftw
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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