you would pick up someone in the library
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
