did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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