i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You're like the curious george of whores
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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