like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
