:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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