you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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