Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
