One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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