Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
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Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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