this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
