so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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