Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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