I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
