he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
