So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
