Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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