Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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