# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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