party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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