i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
