how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
whose parrot is this?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
