just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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