Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
