And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
