Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
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Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
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Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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