real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
