Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
