I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
