omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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