Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
