you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Two words: nipple clamps
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