found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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