if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Randomize
