Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
