During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
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come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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