I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize