doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
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If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
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Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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