Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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