I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
