So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
