I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
