Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
