whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
