Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize