Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
