I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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