just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
