His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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