My nipple is on Facebook.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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