Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
